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4 Months Clean & Sober: Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

Today I celebrate four months clean and sober.

“Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” That simple children’s song has become living truth for me. Not only does the Bible tell me so—Jesus Himself has kept telling me, over and over, in my inner healing session and through His letters. His voice has been steady, patient, and kind while I’ve been learning to believe it again.

There has been so much progress since my last post.

One of the clearest pictures Jesus gave me was of red flowers with pure white in the middle. I still cannot find them anywhere on the internet. They were perfect and beautiful. He showed me they mean that He covers me in His blood and wraps me in His own purity. Scarlet covered by white. My past, my pain, my failures—washed and held by Him.

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” — Isaiah 1:18

“And they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.” — Revelation 7:14

I also went through surgery that took away most of the physical pain I had carried for the past twenty years. It is amazing. The body that once screamed every day now has room to breathe.

And now I’m back working at the nursing home as a CNA. Oh how I’ve missed it. That familiar ache I couldn’t name for so long? I finally understand what it was. I was missing the place where I get to love people who need care. Coming home to this work has felt like finding a piece of myself that had been lost.

I know what it is to be the little lost sheep.

When I lost my kids, my home, my job, and what felt like my whole life, I wandered. I was the one who strayed far from the fold. But the Shepherd came looking for me. He did not give up. He carried me back on His shoulders, rejoicing.

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.” — Luke 15:4-5

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” — John 10:11

So yes—I know the love of Jesus.

Jesus loves me, this I know.

Not just because the Bible says it.

Because He has told me Himself, again and again, while He has been healing the broken places, covering me in His blood, restoring my body, and bringing me back to the work He prepared for me.

Four months clean and sober.

Covered.

Found.

Loved.

Thank You, Jesus.

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