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90 Days Clean: Handing the Reins to the Good Shepherd

On the 6th, I hit an incredible milestone: 90 days clean. This journey has definitely come with its share of highs, lows, and losses—but above all, it has been filled with major wins.

The exact same day I celebrated 90 days of sobriety, I walked out with my driver's license! I haven't had a license since 2008, and I haven't reached 90 days clean since 2018. Next week, I am taking my refresher course to reactivate my CNA license. I never knew life could go so well or that I could feel so incredibly blessed.

All of this is happening because I made a firm decision to put God first in my life. When He is at the center, I know I have absolutely nothing to worry about. My focus is simply to keep praying. For the first time in my life, I am not living in fear. If a moment of fear does creep in, I actively give it over to God, and I refuse to take it back. It is an absolutely amazing feeling.


“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.” — Psalm 23:1-3


Looking back at the losses and the hard choices, I finally understand the deeper picture. I think about the Shepherd, the sheep, and the wolves. Sometimes, a loving Shepherd has to gently bruise the little sheep's leg when she keeps wandering toward danger. He doesn't do it to hurt her; He does it to carry her close, keep her still, and save her from the wolves waiting in the dark. For a long time, I was running wild near the edge. God had to break my old stride and isolate me in recovery to keep the wolves of my past from tearing me apart. The bruise was heavy, but the protection was absolute.

Do I still face daily struggles? Yes, of course I do. But every single day, when the sun goes down, I rest easy knowing that God has me completely covered from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes. There is absolutely nothing in this world that I cannot conquer as long as I walk hand-in-hand with the God of my understanding. This program has truly saved my life.


A Prayer for the Woman I Am Becoming


Heavenly Father,


Thank You for creating me as a woman—for weaving resilience into my bones and deep empathy into my heart. For too long, I let the world misuse the softness and strength You gave me. But today, I stand before You as a warrior woman after Your own heart.


Thank You for rebuilding my dignity, for restoring my mind, and for clearing the path ahead of me. Bless my hands as I prepare to step back into my career as a CNA to care for others. Keep my feet planted firmly on this path of recovery. Remind me every single day that I am beautifully made, fiercely protected, and fully capable of conquering any storm with You by my side.


Amen

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