83 days clean and counting.
Today my heart isn’t only fixed on my own recovery. It’s overflowing with love for a very special man who rarely hears enough praise — my 18-year-old son, Jordan.
He is one of the most resilient souls I have ever known. He carries the hardest work ethic, the biggest heart, and an honesty that runs bone-deep—even though life has handed him some of the hardest lessons a person can endure.
From the Very Beginning
I knew from the moment Jordan was born how special he was. Even as a baby he was sharp. I’ll never forget the first time I heard his laugh. We were sitting in my grandma’s living room when this deep, rich sound rose from way down in his belly—like one of those pure baby laughs you hear in a commercial or as a phone ringtone. From that day forward he was the light of my life.
When darkness came and I saw his father hurt him, I took all three of my boys and left. I promised I would never look back. Together we opened our own lawn service, and let me tell you—this boy had a work ethic that put grown men to shame. By the time he was five, Jordan could mow a lawn better than most adults.
He was always a little man after God’s own heart. He kept his room spotless, made his bed without being asked, and memorized the Our Father by heart.
Weathering the Storms
Life brought storms we never deserved. When I went to jail and he suffered abuse again, my heart shattered into a million pieces. To this day it leaves me stunned and broken. I will never understand how anyone could choose to hurt a child—especially one with a heart like Jordan’s, a boy who would step up to help anybody in need.
Yet through every shadow his spirit kept shining.
I’ll never forget the moment I saw him again—watching him on that football field, ball in hand, running with everything he had. Watching him on the track, I was (and always will be) his number-one fan. It reminds me of the sons in Scripture: tested, tried, yet still standing tall because the Lord was with them.
Senior Year & The Grind
Look at him now. At 18, Jordan is getting ready to start his senior year in August. He’s grinding at Taco Bell, doing a darn good job, and taking pride in everything he touches.
We went out to eat as a family not long ago, and for the first time in a long while it felt like us again — our family — laughing, teasing, giving each other a hard time the way we used to. But I see beneath the surface too. I can tell he is carrying weight and wrestling with things he doesn’t always speak out loud.
I know those quiet moments by the water, fishing rod in hand, letting the world go still, are where he resets his mind and finds a measure of peace.
A Promise from the Balcony
If you read nothing else, Jordan, hear this: I SEE YOU.
God sees every single thing you are doing—every silent struggle, every hard day’s work, every quiet choice to keep going. And we are right here in your corner.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…”
— Hebrews 12:1
“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”
— Psalm 37:23-24
Picture me in the stands of your life. I am hanging over that balcony, halfway off the ledge, yelling at the top of my lungs for you. Your brothers are right there with me—one holding onto my feet so I don’t fall—because that is how loud and proud we are cheering for you.
As long as there is breath in my lungs, I am here. Pom-poms high. Anytime. Anywhere.
I love you, Jordan.
I see you.
And I will always be your number-one fan.
In the infamous word's of your PaPa my he RIP:
I love you a big ol lot all my life with all my heart and even more than that❣️
Sincerely your #1 fan
Mom
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